The Upsherin: A Jewish Rite of Passage
For many Jewish parents, a child’s first haircut—typically at age three—is a deeply emotional and symbolic milestone. This moment marks the end of babyhood, when the child begins to gain independence and is ready to embark on a journey of learning and faith. Known in Yiddish as the Upsherin, or Chalakah among Sephardic Jews, the ritual is both a farewell to infancy and a celebration of growth.
Why Age Three?
The tradition of waiting until age three is rooted in sacred texts. In Leviticus 19:23, it states: “When you enter the land and plant any kind of fruit tree, regard its fruits as forbidden. For three years you are to consider it as forbidden; it must not be eaten.” In Jewish thought, people are often likened to trees, and this verse is interpreted as a metaphor for a child's early years—precious, protected, and untouched.
The Encyclopedia Judaica also notes: “Hair is regarded as a life index which possesses an independent soul and is the seat of vital spirit (cf. the Samson story).” This belief in hair as a source of spiritual energy may explain the custom of avoiding haircuts during the first years of life.
The Meaning Behind the Haircut
The Upsherin symbolizes the removal of barriers and the child’s transition into a new stage of spiritual and personal development. It marks the beginning of religious education, particularly the study of the Torah. The haircut also allows for the formation of peot (sidelocks), which are a physical expression of Jewish identity and tradition. In some communities, this moment is also when a boy begins to wear tzitzit (ritual fringes).
Girls and the Modern Upsherin
Traditionally, this ceremony was reserved for boys, since the practice of wearing sidelocks applies only to males. However, in recent times, some parents have chosen to include daughters in a modified version of the ritual. Girls may receive a light trim rather than a full haircut, symbolizing their own entrance into a life of learning and connection to faith. The desire to mark this transition equally for daughters reflects an evolving and inclusive approach to tradition.
Learning the Aleph-Bet
An especially sweet part of the Upsherin is introducing the child to the Aleph-Bet (Hebrew alphabet). Letter cards are often coated with honey, and after the child recites each letter, they lick the card—symbolizing the idea that learning Torah should be "sweet on the tongue."
The Ceremony
During the ceremony, the child is dressed in tzitzit and wears a kippah on his head. The first haircut is typically performed by a Rabbi, followed by parents, family, and friends each taking a small snip of hair. Passages from the Torah are read aloud, offering blessings and spiritual guidance for the child’s future.
Celebrations often take place at home or in the local synagogue, though some families still follow the tradition of holding the ritual at the gravesite of a tzaddik (a holy person), believed to bring added spiritual merit to the occasion.